Franklin Delano Robot-velt
by Zuniroa
Summary: The TRUE story of Franky Roosevelt and his downfall. Also, shoutout to BrendanielReads


It was a nice, sunny day. Franklin Delano Roosevelt was sitting on his front porch over watching his lawn. It was all he really could do since he was stuck in a wheelchair. He watched as his neighbor's dog dropped its bits and pieces onto his lawn. This infuriated Franky, so he raised his arm into the air, removed his hand, and charged his mega blaster. Ignorant as it was, the dog continued to drop his bits onto Franky's lawn. Franky pointed his hand-less arm cannon towards the dog, and fired a giant ball of energy which vaporized the dog and everything with ten feet of it. Franky blew the smoke away from his arm, and continued to watch his lawn.

Later that day, his neighbor came to his door asking about the dog. "You had a dog?" Franky asked. "Yes, I did, but now I can't find him," the neighbor replied. "Maybe you should watch him and make sure he doesn't drop his crap onto my lawn," Franky replied. Franky pointed to the giant hole in the ground and the neighbor looked towards it. "How the hell did you do that?" the neighbor asked. "It's called a gun, you moron," Franky replied. "No gun could do that, only a robot could do that!"

At that phrase, Franky's oil began do drip from his brow. "Uh, no… I'm no robot!" Franky nervously stated. "I never accused you of being a robot," the neighbor replied. "Oh, silly me, I thought you were. Just know that I'm not a robot!" Franky sternly said. "I'm starting to think that you're a robot…" "Me? No; robots can't have polio!" "Oh, I guess that makes sense." With that statement, Franky gave his neighbor a beer and he walked away; the neighbor, not Franky because Franky still has polio. As the neighbor entered his house, he realized that Franky confessed to shooting his dog and that he forgot to question Franky on it. He decided to call the cops and report Franky for killing Snuffles.

Within ten minutes, fifty police cabs had piled onto the street, each with eight police men packed into them like clowns in a clown car. "Come out with your hands up, Franky!" All four-hundred of the policemen said in unison. Franky came out of his house in his wheelchair and looked in shock at the multitude of policemen. "Come down to the sidewalk, Franky!" the policemen said in unison once again. Franklin wheeled forward but fell forward as he rolled down the stairs of the house. He fell to his face on the sidewalk leading to his house. "Oh my god, is he alright?" the policemen said in unison once again.

Franky managed to get up, but his false face was ripped and torn, revealing his robot exoskeleton to the policemen. He stood to his feet and looked among the policemen. He took his fist off and charged his laser to destroy the army of policemen. When he was ready to strike, he pointed his arm at the policemen and made a dramatic pose then said "Hasta la Vista, baby." As he was about to shoot, his neighbor kicked him in the back of the leg and knocked him to the ground. "You know what, robots CAN have polio!" his neighbor shouted. Franky tried his best to scream, but to no avail.

The neighbor took his pants off and rammed his erect shlong into Franky's mouth, busting his vocal box. He continued to thrust into the robotic mouth while the policemen watched in pure shock. After he was finished with the mouth, he turned Franky around and jammed his shlong into Franky's rear. Franky desperately tried to scream for help, but his broken vocal box refused to produce any sounds. His neighbor continued for about thirty minutes before releasing his love nectar into Franky's rear, causing Franky to scream with fuzzy, metallic sounds erupting from the broken voice box. With oily blood pouring from every oriface in his body, Franky died with a screeching sound that couldn't be described.

After the incident, the neighbor was given a medal and proclaimed a hero for destroying the robot menace. The policemen who were present for the action were all sent to counseling sessions for the rest of their lives, some commuting suicide after a few days. In the end, Snuffles was never recovered, but his justice was served. Never again did an evil robotic president cause any mayhem to the people of the United States.

Except for Reagan.

Reagan was a robot.

The end.


End file.
